Apologies for the last blog entry: it was posted in a moment of weakness XD
Anyhokizay, I didn't want to miss the last chance I have to wish well this past year. I have always loved the coming of the New Year. The fireworks, imagining the whole world celebrating the simple turn of the clock. Here at our grandparents' house, we exhausted the gigantic box of the biggest fireworks we could get our hands on, filling the sky with red flowers and golden glitters, and shouting our joy. On the crystal clear night, the stars just kind of looked down smiling at our fun =] I hope that we at least gave them a show. We don't celebrate big - we just celebrate together.
So here I am, in the last few hours of 2011, sitting in the dark of the fallen night, trying to sort through my thoughts so that I can tell you guys all about them.
I guess I have to make the warning now: expect a slightly emotional update.
The other night I went out star gazing because I couldn't sleep. Instead, I lay out on the grass of the earth and took in the hugeness of the universe as the earth turned beneath me.
I have to be honest with myself. Everything considered, it's not been a particularly awesome year. Don't get me wrong, because a lot of great things have happened. I feel, however, that at the end of it I've gotten...
Complacent? It's been a long year, as I look back. Painful at times, embarrassing at others, and...occasionally great.
I feel like I haven't really lost anything, but I've forgotten something that I already have.
Call me on my complaining - you're allowed.
There were a lot of things that I didn't do this year. I didn't really decide or undertake anything particularly life changing. I didn't save anyone's life. Much to the chagrin of a few select people in my life (everyone's got their own personal matchmakers...) I didn't fall in love. I didn't excel at anything. I didn't discover some new talent or ability.
And yet...
I did discover a few things. I did make some small victories. The world proved for me that it was made a little bit better in its own small way. Good news: God works whether I'm on board 100% or not. The big, vast, boundless universe that moves to a heartbeat older than time still sings its song.
I'm smiling. This is comforting news indeed.
I always kind of like to undertake resolutions. They're fun, they're valuable, and they tell about us now. They're not promises, they're ideas. They're dreams. Dreams are dangerous in the hands of adventurers. That's the kind of person I hope to be.
Should that be a resolution? To be an adventurer? Looks like it already is.
I think, though, that my real desire lies a little further. It's not fair of me to make a resolution of something certain to myself, since my life is a very uncertain thing to me. And I don't know the direction that God has for my life, so I'm not sure what I would or could ever say. But I know one thing: if my life is uncertain to me, I have to be certain to myself. I have to be certain to the me that God made.
That is my idea, my dream, my resolution. Not to waver. Not to stand down. To be corrected, and to accept correction, and to aspire and follow after the Truth, but not to be changed by where I am.
I am Jonathon, and this is my life.
I'm so excited about 2012. It's going to be a fun year, I can already tell. My excitement pales only to my joy. This is not a beginning. Every day is a beginning. Every moment is new. This is an apex.
Waiting patiently and celebrating happily.
Love you all, and have a Wonderful New Year!
Anyhokizay, I didn't want to miss the last chance I have to wish well this past year. I have always loved the coming of the New Year. The fireworks, imagining the whole world celebrating the simple turn of the clock. Here at our grandparents' house, we exhausted the gigantic box of the biggest fireworks we could get our hands on, filling the sky with red flowers and golden glitters, and shouting our joy. On the crystal clear night, the stars just kind of looked down smiling at our fun =] I hope that we at least gave them a show. We don't celebrate big - we just celebrate together.
So here I am, in the last few hours of 2011, sitting in the dark of the fallen night, trying to sort through my thoughts so that I can tell you guys all about them.
I guess I have to make the warning now: expect a slightly emotional update.
The other night I went out star gazing because I couldn't sleep. Instead, I lay out on the grass of the earth and took in the hugeness of the universe as the earth turned beneath me.
I have to be honest with myself. Everything considered, it's not been a particularly awesome year. Don't get me wrong, because a lot of great things have happened. I feel, however, that at the end of it I've gotten...
Complacent? It's been a long year, as I look back. Painful at times, embarrassing at others, and...occasionally great.
I feel like I haven't really lost anything, but I've forgotten something that I already have.
Call me on my complaining - you're allowed.
There were a lot of things that I didn't do this year. I didn't really decide or undertake anything particularly life changing. I didn't save anyone's life. Much to the chagrin of a few select people in my life (everyone's got their own personal matchmakers...) I didn't fall in love. I didn't excel at anything. I didn't discover some new talent or ability.
And yet...
I did discover a few things. I did make some small victories. The world proved for me that it was made a little bit better in its own small way. Good news: God works whether I'm on board 100% or not. The big, vast, boundless universe that moves to a heartbeat older than time still sings its song.
I'm smiling. This is comforting news indeed.
I always kind of like to undertake resolutions. They're fun, they're valuable, and they tell about us now. They're not promises, they're ideas. They're dreams. Dreams are dangerous in the hands of adventurers. That's the kind of person I hope to be.
Should that be a resolution? To be an adventurer? Looks like it already is.
I think, though, that my real desire lies a little further. It's not fair of me to make a resolution of something certain to myself, since my life is a very uncertain thing to me. And I don't know the direction that God has for my life, so I'm not sure what I would or could ever say. But I know one thing: if my life is uncertain to me, I have to be certain to myself. I have to be certain to the me that God made.
That is my idea, my dream, my resolution. Not to waver. Not to stand down. To be corrected, and to accept correction, and to aspire and follow after the Truth, but not to be changed by where I am.
I am Jonathon, and this is my life.
I'm so excited about 2012. It's going to be a fun year, I can already tell. My excitement pales only to my joy. This is not a beginning. Every day is a beginning. Every moment is new. This is an apex.
Waiting patiently and celebrating happily.
Love you all, and have a Wonderful New Year!
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